Come Back Home

Idk why I wrote this shit but yeah.

Come Back Home

I never belonged here.

I never belong.

And I will never be.

I miss the laughter, I miss the undying tears from my eyes not because of wounds, but because of the moments we cherished and kept. How could I leave amazing people like that? How can I easily turn my back to them and walk the opposite direction leaving their mouths gaping open from astonishment? How did I manage to throw those hurtful words leaving tears caused by pain? I did the thing that I am supposed to do, but I ended up being stabbed endlessly because of my selfishness.

Since when did I become this selfish?

Since when did I start ravishing my own thoughts?

Since when did I stop to care?

I hate this.

I hate those people who left me behind without handing me some sensible explanation. But here I am, doing the thing I hate the most, and I hate myself for doing it. I hate myself. But I can never hate them for pushing me away. I made them do that. I did.

Who am I anyway?

When I thought that everything is going down the well, when the waves almost crashed the home I made near the shore, and when I thought that reality is finally biting me alive, a phone call took my breath away.

"Ree, please come back home. Where are you? Please, please go home." 

All I can see are tears. Tears that were bottled but now, they are finally set free. They called, they are looking for me. I was never alone. I do belong. I never noticed it, but I belong. My mind was wrong, I should've known. I should've listened to that tiny voice at the back of my mind before I caused a disaster this big. I should've listened to them, I really thought they didn't care but they always did. I thought I can live alone, I thought I can walk these streets without them at my back, boy, I was wrong. I am always wrong and I need them to make everything right.

I took them for granted. And finally, regret is slapping me hard. Hard enough for me to walk home and leave these shits. It feels like a long walk, my feet are getting heavier and heavier each step while my heart pounds faster than the speed of light.

That's when I felt the warmness around me. Those arms wrapped around my body. Their willingness to accept me despite the stupid and retarded things I've done to myself. They smiled. Those warm smiles that tickled my heart. And then I realized, I was the one who ignored them. I was the one who declared the cold war between us.

Was I that stupid?

Yes. Yes you are.

I always belong, I was the one who chose to isolate myself. I envisioned a world free from them but I ended in a jail, making myself far from them though I know how much effort they exert to reach out.

This has to be the worst decision I ever made in my life. But coming back home has to be the best. And home, is where I belong.

--

So I was listening to We are the In Crowd's Come Back Home and this was supposed to be a story about friends and all but look at how it ended. Okay my mind is so blown up and I really don't know what happened. Another repost from my tumblr and I seriously need to get a life. Can someone just give my life back cause I'm definitely missing it already. This might sound weird, but I miss going to school. Wowza, what an unusual babble.